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OMG ~ I did a thing that a lot of people will think is totally CRAZY BANANAS!
I dedicated an entire day to a solo silent retreat 🤯🍌 Crazy Bananas right?
Actually, no it wasn’t! It was something I’ve been craving for months + months but just hadn’t been able to create in my World. Then recently a mentor shared she was hosting a silent retreat at her property + I had the full body response “YES I’M GOING”… until I looked at our family’s calendar + realized I needed to be home with my pups because my hubby was booked to be away for that day (which is a rarity for him versus me).
What was interesting is that I realized my FULL BODY YES meant I needed to dig a little deeper + I needed to do something to answer the full body yes response because I do my best to live aligned with my body. The body never lies.
If I’m honest, silence is something that my soul has been craving since last March when I returned from my really fun girl’s trip! I craved silence then + wasn’t able to fulfill that craving + hadn’t made it a priority in all the months that followed because it mean’t “going away” to create that space.
I realized this day was a rare occurrence. I was home alone for the entire day so I could gift myself the time + space to host my very own solo silent retreat. And that is exactly what I did!!! So at this point you either think I’m 🤪🍌 or you’re intrigued so here’s how I did it:
Before beginning, I set several intentions for my day:
I wanted the day to be a soul dive, NOT a day that I filled catching up on work related tasks on my to-do list.
I wanted SILENCE all day long.
I wanted to use the tools I use daily to dive deeper inside me for answers that I felt were “pending” in my life.
I created a list of things I could do that would infuse me with my end goal of filling myself up.
Beginning the Journey
With my intentions established, I began my day of solitude:
As soon as my hubby left I turned off ALL notifications on my phone except for his number (in case there was an emergency).
I drank 1/2 my regular caffeine intake + planned light, vegetarian meals + snacks all day long. (In ancient times (+ likely currently too) when people embark on a silent, spiritual, soul-filling journey they will go to the mountains or caves, alone, without food or water for their time). I wasn’t wishing to feel that my day was one of deprivation but I did wish it to be a gentler day than my body was used to experiencing.
I hiked several times (twice on my land, once off of it ~ more below on that)
I did various forms of breath work throughout the day.
I ate a vegetarian lunch + supper.
I drank A LOT of water + herbal tea.
I journaled A LOT.
I let myself cry for no apparent reason other than my body wished to cry. And I let that be okay.
I danced in ways that just felt good to a favourite emotional song + cried some more.
I stretched in ways that just felt good.
I read a book that was not “learning” based (which is really rare for me).
My day of silence brought me several revelations:
⏰ TIME. STOOD. STILL. 🤯
I looked at my clock + assumed it was nearly lunchtime + it was only 10am. I had hiked, breathed, done tons of journaling + written out 6 pages of ideas that were stuck inside + had begun popping inside me like popcorn 🍿
My addiction to my devices is a PROBLEM 📱
I knew this was going to be a big piece of this silence for me - to wonder what was happening, who might be texting or emailing that I couldn’t see. I had to keep reminding myself that I had lived a lot of my life in an era with a land line + no computer + that I could do it for one more day for my own personal + soul benefit. I’ve realized going forward that I need to live with my notifications turned off more often than not to create greater boundaries + balance in my life.
I am only CALM WHEN I AM ALONE.
This was a really interesting revelation that came up very early in the morning when the feeling of “calm” settled in to all of my cells. I wondered why I was feeling this way, + without layering stories or judgment or shame on it + I was able to trace its roots all the way back to my childhood where there was some unpredictable violence in my home (although not directed at me). I realized I was carrying a piece of having to always be “on alert just in case”. ALSO…. I found that I could hear a parental voice inside asking me “what are you doing” when I was doing what appeared to be “nothing” (when I was actually dreaming + thinking). I was raised in an era where you must be busy or you are lazy (anyone else? 🙋♀️). It is so fascinating to see this playing so clearly in the mind + now I can investigate it deeper to see if that belief (that was laid upon me by others) is right + true for me. I can tell you right here + now without much investigation into it that I do not hold this same belief + that was magnified by this experience of doing nothing + getting so many revelations. (Please note: I am not upset by any of this or the way I was parented - it is just interesting to see this belief clearly + to work on excavating it because it’s not mine).
IDEAS ONLY COME OUT TO PLAY.
I knew that for some time I had felt “blocked” inside because I hadn’t had any great ideas for a while. I was busying myself + was way too distracted by devices + things. The ideas were there, they just needed some play + peace + quiet to present themselves.
It felt really good to let the emotions percolate, be witnessed, cry if need be + to not make up a story or judge it in any way, shape or form. I was just witnessing + feeling my emotions. The End. With all that’s going on on our planet these days there was a lot of emotion inside me that was creating part of the blocking. I gave it space to move (with breath + movement) + time to be released through journaling, crying + guttural noises. I don’t know what any of it was about + decided ahead of time that it didn’t matter anyhow, it just was. I didn’t pause to wonder.
I just let it all flow out of me + it felt so freaking great + freeing to do just that!
There was noise around me most of the day because a distant neighbour decided that it was a great day to run their leaf blower from 10am-3pm. I could feel myself getting frustrated by the noise but realized this was a test for feeling the resistance in my body + that the noise was happening “for” me. I questioned how could I drop deeper into my own quiet to NOT hear the noise around me? And I moved my attention towards investigating that instead of being frustrated by the noise. Also on one of my hikes I left my property which meant that I bumped into two neighbours who were out living their day. I had a button on my coat that said “IN SILENCE” + I pointed to it + moved on with my hike BUT it did bring up all the “what will they think” beliefs for me. Again more thoughts instilled in me by my parents for me to excavate + see if they are real + true for me.
As the late afternoon hours began creeping by I could feel my calm creeping away. I was realizing soon I would not be alone. And again more information to inquire + excavate from within. FASCINATING!
At 7pm I turned on one device on + finished the day by attending a virtual New Moon Ceremony on Zoom + it was the PERFECT end to a perfect day! I felt calm, grounded + I slept like a bear that night!
This practice is definitely something that I will be integrating regularly into my World going forward because it was so fruitful + so filling! (Even if I have to go away by myself to create it, I will do that now).
So, do you still think this is crazy or scary? Or is it something you’d consider “trying” to see if it feels good for you + is impactful in your life in ways you need? I’d love to know your thoughts so leave me a comment + let me know!
If you are craving some change in your one audacious life there is a lot going on in my private Facebook Group so click this link + jump in for all the goodness.
I’ll be hosting another masterclass in November + I have availability for one-on-one coaching in November too. Whether that’s a single standalone 90 minute Audacious Awakening session or the 4-week Soul Sessions (where we have multiple calls) + I support you by text/voice notes in between!
Either are an amazing way to begin a journey towards shifting + changing things in your one audacious life! You can check out the various ways to work with me at www.theaudaciousempire.com or by commenting below + I’ll get back to you 💙