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How are you making out with the Year End Soul Ritual Exercise I shared last week? Have you been working on it? Have you been finding it helpful to do? I would love to know!
One more layer to the Year End Soul Ritual that I only touched on lightly last week but want to highlight this week is the act of FORGIVENESS.
The Lasting Effects of Forgiveness
WE FORGIVE FOR OURSELVES, NOT FOR OTHERS.
Others don’t even need to know we’re forgiving them. It doesn’t mean they are right and we are wrong or they are wrong and we are right, it just means we’re ready to RELEASE IT ALL. To lay down the swords (as I spoke about in my blog a few weeks ago), heal, forgive, and move forward. No longer holding on to that sword because continuing to carry the sword of unforgiveness is ONLY AFFECTING US ⚔
The energy that we carry around in us that’s attached to things we did, others did, society did creates energy leaks within us. And, yup you guessed it, having these energy leaks can create dis-ease in our body. It can tap us of our energy, vitality, knowing, intuition and a million other things. It can pop up out of nowhere from the depths of our soul like a skeleton from our Closet of Emotions of shame or anger or rage to remind us we are shaming/angry/rageful of ourself or holding these emotions towards another. It can be from this week or it can be from decades ago. It can all still be there and if it's still in the Closet of Emotions then it’s an energy leak in you.
Dealing with Emotions, Discomfort, and Shame in Relationships
I’ll share a relationship example with you because I think we can all relate because we all have relationships. So even though the exact details will be different, I’ll leave it to you to find yourself in this example. To find similarities in what you can, compare it to a situation in your life, and insert your own “other” into this example.
As you already know I grew up in a home that had violence and arguing (a lot of anger and a lot of rage). My husband and I don’t argue very often and as a coping strategy for myself, I do a lot of work on myself and in our relationship to create conversations that don’t lead to outbursts of anger and arguing. But, last winter we had an argument - and although it’s now ten months ago and our apologies were shared and accepted by both, and it's not only water under the bridge but water that's flowed out to the sea by now after such a long time - that argument is still coming up FOR me and WITHIN me from inside my Shame Closet.
From time to time, something will trigger the memory of that argument, what I said, what I did, and how I did and didn’t handle it. IT IS ALL SHAME FOR ME and it’s still here and therefore still leaking energy in my life. It’s something I am regularly forgiving myself for in the work that I do. It is not a “one and done” like some forgivenesses are. It’s requiring an ongoing, deep forgiveness practice. I don’t need to involve my husband (you can insert your other here) in this process, because it’s not about him, it’s solely about me and the shame that I carry in my body and my life.
The Process of Finding Forgiveness
In this forgiveness practice, I do a variety of things:
I journal into what’s really there, I see the shame but I look deeper, under it, around it, into shame’s darkness. I sleuth about to find what cocktail of emotions are under the overriding feeling of shame that this triggers. What memory are these emotions leading me back to (because it’s not really about the argument last winter, but something long ago in my childhood)? I sleuth about to find out when have I felt this cocktail of emotions before? And I keep sleuthing.
I’m still working on this one, but I am aware and I am doing “the work” on it. When it comes up I see it and when time permits, get to work on it again. I do this by writing love letters to my current self, to my childhood self, whichever part of me is revealing herself and is involved in this current situation. I do therapeutic breath work specific to the emotions that I’m experiencing. I FEEL these emotions, the new ones and the old ones and know that each time they are felt I’m clearing more of them out. I’m cleaning the closet so to speak.
So what energy leaks can you now see in your one audacious life?
What energy leaks are causing dis-ease in your emotions, and body, and life?
Where do you need to spend some time doing the “work” to forgive yourself around something in your recent or distant life?
How can you consciously choose to do that work so you are moving into 2024 with a cleaner closet, less dis-ease and more love for your magnificent self?
Become aware. Become curious. Become an energy leak sleuth in your own life and see what you are able to shift and change to live fully a-live because that’s what we are here to do: to feel, heal and live fully a-live in love.
PS: Make sure to be on the look-out for the Audaciously, Sharon Winter Solstice Blog Post next Thursday! I know there is going to be so much goodness in it because this week I’m in deep silence, off social media and attending a dream retreat with a magical mentor of mine. THERE IS SO MUCH GOOD STUFF COMING UP FOR YOU HERE!!! Don’t miss it! xo