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How do you love?
Do you love fully, expansively? With all your heart + soul? Does it hurt your heart sometimes because you love so much?
Do you share your love in words of support, trust, compassion, intimacy, praise? Or do you share it in acts of love like cooking, hugs, presence in a conversation? I invite you to take a breath or two + ponder these inquiries.
What I didn’t specify in the opening question “how do you love?” was how do you love you?
And because I’m a woman, I know you automatically assumed I was asking how do you love ALL of those around you. Perhaps your partner, children, grandchildren, parents, pets, closest friends.
We women rarely shine our love inwards. We shine our love outwards + by the time we’re done shining our love out, there’s none left for us + we’re too exhausted to create some new love to shine inward.
Now that you have this awareness of your automatic tendency to love outward versus inward, in this Hallmark season of LOVE I invite you to do some soul searching + look at how you love yourself? Do you love yourself well? Do you love yourself as much + as expansively as you love others? Or are you stingy? Judgmental? Mean? Conditional? Do you love yourself at all? None of these are wrong. They just are. They are just information.
How can you take how you love others + turn that love inward? How can you love yourself better? More? Most? First?
Love myself most? Love myself first? Is Sharon crazy? No, she’s not. She’s has learned this the hard way so she’s sharing it with you, with love, so you don’t have to learn it the hard way too 💙
It’s a mind blowing thought isn’t it? This isn’t a slam at your parents for how you were raised because it’s a societal issue. We women were raised to pour it all out, to give all of us away, to be the last on the list of who we care for + about. All the while knowing when we get to that last on the list we’re exhausted.
It’s all we know how to do.
It’s how we automatically operate.
And it’s killing us. We all have friends who we see pouring only outward. Who live depleted + exhausted + they are angry about it. They may not voice it, but deep inside they’re angry. And it’s in us, too. Because what we see in others is a mirror of what is in ourselves. I know - ouch, right? 🪞💥
What I can share with you is that when you love yourself most + first, the love you have to pour out to others is magnified + intensified. It may be hard to believe that so I welcome you to just trust me + try it on to see how this works.
If you’re not sure where to begin + how to love yourself you aren’t alone. I invite you to pause, take a few intentional breaths + think of ALL the amazing ways you love others. Maybe think of each person you love + make a short list of how you love them. Is it through encouragement? Is it by helping with a task? Is it by checking in on them? Sending them something to make them laugh or to let them know you are thinking of them?
Now that you have those lists, turn those same ways inward to your magnificent self + go love yourself up in those same ways!
Here are a few of my favourite “love myself” suggestions for you to incorporate into each day.
YES. LOVE. YOURSELF. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
💙 change the screen saver on your phone to a photo of yourself that you love + each time you open your phone admire that photo + internally or aloud, tell her “you’re beautiful” or “I love you” or “thank you” 🪞
💙 choose an area of your body + write it a short love letter for how grateful you are for it + all the work it’s done for you in your life (your feet, hands, legs, eyes, mouth…) ✍🏼
💙 treat yourself to a special + favourite coffee or tea + drink it with so much intention, gratitude + love for this favourite + for yourself. Savor it ☕
💙 when showering or having a bath do it slowly, with love, intentionally lathering your body with love + gratitude for each part of your body. Talk to it. Thank it. Following bathing you can do this with a luscious body cream too. If you don’t have one, go buy one 😉
My invitation for you this week is to turn your attention to yourself. To look at how you love yourself. I’m running a self-love soul journey on all my social channels, encouraging women to love themselves daily, in small ways, because it’s the small ways that produce the ripple effect of big change in your life. It’s the small ways that bring the most awareness. Just like my re-framing the question of how do you love. Small, but big. 🤯💙
LOVE YOURSELF UP. It’s not selfish. It’s self-full. THIS WORLD NEEDS WOMEN TO LOVE OURSELVES MOST + FIRST + FULLY so we can love others from our overflow.
If you’re on socials, follow me through the links below + post in your stories, tag me + show me how you are loving you because I do really want to know 💙
Curious to learn more? Visit my website www.theaudaciousempire.com to see ALL the ways that I can support you with my super powers + help you to live your life fully + audaciously.