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Do you ever think you've made a "wrong decision"?
A while back I had a coaching client share with me their remorse + heartache around a decision they had made just prior to starting to work with me.
The guilt, the heartache, the shame, the worry, the "should"s + the upset were such a heavy weight they were now constantly carrying because of this “wrong decision”.
We uncovered + sat with all of those feelings for a little while ensuring that they were real, true + related to this particular decision (because sometimes they are linked to past experiences). I then began to walk her on a journey to a new way of looking at this entire “wrong decision”.
Her decision was about a job change. But this process applies to all decisions we perceive as “wrong” so I invite you to keep reading ….
She left a long-term “secure” position to try something she thought was a passion for her.
She had dabbled in it for a while, “trying it on” before taking the job + excitedly thought it would be a good fit for her.
Shortly after beginning the new job she realized it was not a good fit. There were aspects of the job she was unable to see in her dabbling in it that presented for her once she began full-time. She quickly realized these aspects made it not a good fit for her + she felt there was no wiggle room to change much with her new employer.
The guilt, shame, anger, upset, worry + remorse were ALL SO HEAVY in her. They were affecting her mood, her sleep, her breathing + her digestion. These emotions were all creating dis-ease in her body.
I guided her to acknowledge her feelings. Witness them, thank them for presenting because they were showing her something about her life + encouraged her to release the emotions once she’d witnessed them + given them space. She was grateful to release them.
I then asked her to begin to share with me ALL the things that she had learned about herself in that job.
The list was amazing + long: she didn’t like to work alone, she didn’t like to be treated poorly by the employer, she didn’t like to work indoors, with no window or fresh air for long hours, she didn’t like being sedentary in her work. With acknowledging each of these her mood immediately began to shift. She was seeing this knowledge as power in herself versus being crippled by the weight of the perception of this “wrong decision”.
I asked if she had lost income by changing to this job?
No, she had not, it had been a lateral financial move.
I asked if she was she happy in her old job that she had left for this one?
No she had not been happy in her prior job for a very long time.
Her empowerment continued to grow with each question + answer we unearthed.
In guiding her through this exercise she saw that this job was in fact a stepping stone for her learning more about who she truly was, what she liked in a job, what she didn’t like in a job + what her wants, negotiables + non-negotiables truly were in her work life.
I encouraged her to continue to acknowledge the feelings of anger, shame, guilt, worry, anxiety when they re-presented but to look at each of them + let them know that she was learning from each of them, from this decision + moving forward in new amazing ways to a new career that was truly fulfilling + that met all of the criteria she now knew in her soul she needed, thanks to this “wrong” job decision.
In all of life we can perceive things as “not going well”, as “wrong”, when in fact they are the exact next right step that we needed to make our next best step. Like this one! Without the learning of what did not work in this “wrong” job opportunity this client wouldn’t have found what truly mattered to her in her soul’s work.
No matter what your decision is about, whether it’s big or small, or if you perceive that it went well or went terribly, there are ALWAYS opportunities in ALL decisions we make for lessons, learnings + growth in our self.
We very easily get weighed down by the "shoulds", the emotions + all the upset because that’s just what we’ve always done in our life. "Should'ed" ourselves. And when we’re in that space + energy we can not see anything clearly. I call this “the mud”. When we can brush the mud off of us + seek the lessons, we can find the growth + our soul’s path.
I love helping women identify + release the guilt, anger, shame, "shoulds", misconceptions + wrongs of their life situations. I love reframing them for a woman’s learning, growth, acceptance + most importantly self-love! I love guiding a woman out of the mud + showing her how amazing she really is. It’s one of the things that makes my soul coaching work so fulfilling. It’s my super power + I love to share it.
Curious to learn more? Visit my website www.theaudaciousempire.com to see ALL the ways that I can support you with my super powers + help you to live your life fully + audaciously.